He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
