she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
