I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
