Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
