I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
