Non-Jews are for practice
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
