I feel great
I just peed on a car
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
