she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
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