Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
