Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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