i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
