my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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