I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
