I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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