Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
