one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
