So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
