would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
