oh god the rape fog is back!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
