Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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