Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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