wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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