i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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