it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
