YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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