i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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