can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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