Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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