you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
