I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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