I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
