I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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