I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
time to smoke my breakfast
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
