he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
