Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
