I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
