I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
