if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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