i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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