chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
