I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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