i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
