why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
