you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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