Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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