i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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