i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
