So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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