you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've blown a few things in my day
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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