i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
